What I never learned about the clitoris in sex ed is enough to fill multiple books.
Looking back, it’s no wonder I didn’t have an orgasm until I was 21. Historically, sex education has mainly focused on how we reproduce as human beings and how to avoid becoming a young parent. This may be a big part of why the clitoris has been so overlooked in the classroom.
The clitoris is the only organ in the body with the sole purpose of providing pleasure. That’s it. That’s its only function. So, it’s no surprise that the clitoris hasn’t been covered in sex education classes that are only concerned with the best ways to prevent a pregnancy.
When you’re concentrating teaching a class on the egg and the sperm, the clit doesn’t really enter into it – but should it? The clitoris plays a crucial role in sex and masturbation, so if your high school sex ed classes didn’t leave you any wiser we’ve got six facts ready to kick-start your clitoral education.
From moans and groans to creaky bedsprings, sex brings with it an entire orchestra of weird and wonderful noises.
But when you're sharing that house with others, be it members of the family or housemates who could hear a pin drop, hopping on the good foot and doing the bad thing can seem... trickier.
A house full of people isn't the easiest place to get it on, but before you put a ban on bonking, or throw your favourite vibrator to the back of a drawer, here are some handy tips to help you get your rocks off in incognito mode.
Sex can seem like the goal of intimacy. But what are we actually talking about here? For a lot of people ‘sex’ means penis in vagina, however there is so much more to being erotic with somebody. You have desire, anticipation, foreplay, oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex and, yes, those highly sought-after orgasms. And while an orgasm can be great, it doesn’t need to be our only goal, in fact we actually don’t really need any goals besides feeling pleasure.
Being sexual with someone should mean we are focusing on pleasure. This means, how we can give pleasure to our partner and how we can receive pleasure. The focus should not be on getting the penis inside the vagina as soon as possible and both racing towards an orgasm as fast as we can.
For a lot of people, 'penis in vagina' is not part of their sexual repertoire. And many people need that foreplay, that warming up, that build of pleasure and sensation where mind and body are overwhelmed with arousal. So if you haven't indulged in some serious foreplay in a while, now is the time. Let's remove some stigmas around foreplay and sex.
We spend the entirety of our lives trying to have ten minutes of 'alone time' in peace and quiet, and now we're being told to have a solo session front of our significant other?
The truth is, mutual masturbation can benefit both you and your relationship.
Want to know why? That's what this blog is here for!
Ok, so you're probably aware of your own erogenous zones by now – those super-sensitive sweet spots that beg to be stroked, teased and touched.
Our lips, fingers and other areas of our body are pretty adept when it comes to arousing our, or someone else's, ohhh-zones.
But what if we told you that a toy could take things to a whole new level, adding a whole bunch of new textures and sensations to the mix?
We asked award-winning sex therapist and relationship specialist Chantelle Otten which sex toys she recommends when exploring our erogenous zones.
Missionary sex doesn't get the credit it deserves. It gets dismissed as 'boring' and 'vanilla', when in reality it's a fundamental position in the Big Bumper Book of Bonking!
Missionary position sees one partner lie on their back, whilst the other partner lies on top, penetrating them either vaginally or anally.
We've got 6 ways to improve missionary sex here and, to save you from getting tangled up like you're playing a game of naked Twister, we've come up with a system.
We've called the partner who is lying on their back the HP ('horizontal partner') and the partner who is riding up top the TP ('top partner').
Whether you're spending a lot of time in the same four walls, or whether you're coming home from a demanding job, sometimes things in the bedroom can feel a little bit... samey. And we're not necessarily talking about the sex side, either.
Our bedrooms are, of course, primarily a place for rest, but they're more than that - they're a place to relax, and to retreat from our busy days. And when you're relaxed and happy, guess what? You have better sex.
Being able to transform your boudoir into a serene-yet-sensual scene for seduction might seem like a big undertaking worthy of any daytime TV property show host, but it's actually very simple.
So if your sex'n'slumber chamber is in need of a little nocturnal va-va-voom, just read on to find out how to give your room a Moulin-Rouge-esque makeover.
Over the Christmas season, I was watching plenty of Christmas films (obviously), including one of my all-time favourites, The Holiday.
This year, I noticed a line that had somehow flown under my radar throughout my adult life.
Graham (Jude Law): "How do you feel about foreplay?"
Amanda (Cameron Diaz): "I think it's overrated. Significantly overrated."
WHAT?! I spend a lot of time advocating for foreplay. I don’t think people are using it to its full potential.
I love talking about the erogenous zones of the body, why the definitions of ‘foreplay’ and ‘sex’ are a little blurry, and why differentiating between those things can be damaging for people and their sex lives.
Somehow, I never seem to talk about why people should spend more time doing it, and why it’s most definitely not overrated! So here goes:
Remember Sex Ed in school? Was it all videos of toilet cubicles and/or kids jumping into swimming pools? If so, your experience was similar to the vast majority; solely based on the ins-and-outs of 'baby-making', involving some extremely clinical descriptions of heterosexual sex.
So, why hasn't Sex Ed been dragged by the balls kicking and screaming into the 21st -century? There's an overwhelming need for an all-inclusive curriculum offering age-appropriate, relevant relationship and queer-inclusive advice and information.
This week, Sammi, Nick are joined by writer and broadcaster, Riyadh Khalaf, and they share their thoughts on LGBTQ and Sex Education.
And of course, we cover our usual segments "You can never know enough about sex" and "Question of the week" where we share what we've learned about sex this week, and answer your sex questions.
Got a question or topic you want us to cover? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or comment below.
You can find us on iTunes, Soundcloud and Spotify. New episodes every Wednesday. Subscribe to stay up to date!