Introducing Lovehoney X ReFlex: Sex Edition - a Cheeky Card Game from Lovehoney and FlexMami

by Lovehoney

on Mar 11, 2021

Want to have more meaningful conversations about sex but aren't sure where to start? Grab yourself a deck of ReFlex: Sex Edition and break the ice. We asked FlexMami, the brains behind the game, her thoughts on ReFlex: Sex Edition and talking sex in general.

Reflex 1

Who is this game for?

The game is for people who have sex and people who want to have sex. Not just any sex - consensual, communicative, honest, open and affirming sex.

Who do you see benefitting most from playing Lovehoney X ReFlex: Sex Edition?

  • People who want a chill, fun and casual way to talk about sex generally
  • People who want to develop a more open-minded attitude towards sex, the sex industry, sex toys, and their (and others') sexuality
  • People who recognise that they've only learned about sex through porn and trial and error
  • People who are sexually fulfilled and want to learn more about what they like and need
  • People who aren't sexually satisfied but don't have a clear understanding of what they can do to improve it
  • People who recognise that they can't comfortably talk about sex
  • People who recognise that sex education failed them
Reflex 4

Why do you think it's so hard for people to talk about sex or bring up sexual issues (both with friends and with lovers)?

It's a combination of a tonne of different factors that will impact people differently at different times. For example, I think this patriarchal concept of “virginity” has unnecessarily tainted the idea of being a novice when it comes to sex. The connotations people associate with someone who is sexually inexperienced doesn't only reflect their skill level, but also their character? As if because you haven't done this one thing, you must be prudish, closed-minded, boring or even naive.

Reflex 2

Also there's a very explicit lack of sex education, which is odd considering how obsessed our society is with it. Having it, selling it, critiquing it and watching it. Which means that people have this mental battle of literally being inundated with sexual content from the time they're born, assume they should know how to be a confident amazing partner, and soon realise that's probably not the case. Sex has been sold as this passionate, intuitive act, which leaves very little room for people who aren't "naturally" good at it.

And lastly, there are heaps of mixed messages about sex. You have too much, you're a slut, have too little and you're a prude. You should have experience but your body count shouldn't be too high. You should explore what you like, but you need to define your sexuality as soon as possible.

Reflex 3

What parts of sexuality do you think people have the hardest time opening up about?

What they want, and why they want it. Finding the words to articulate something so intuitive is difficult. Also, there is a level of judgement that plenty of people want to avoid.

Why do you think it's important to talk about sex?

Because the impacts of not talking about it are beyond detrimental. The sooner we normalise the simple conversations about body parts, mutual pleasure and consent, [the better]. We invite people to have more complex discussions about sexual identity, kinks rooted in trauma and the role sex plays in our personal lives.

Reflex 5

What do you hope people will learn from playing Lovehoney X ReFlex: Sex Edition?

I'd be happy if someone learned at least ONE thing about their relationship towards sex.

What can we do to open up these conversations even further?

Start with the basics. Ask your friends about their sex life, when they got their last checkup, if they think their sexual experiences have been mostly satisfying and where they learned how to have sex.

If you had a magic wand, which sexual stigmas would you get rid of first?

Stigmas around people who have STIs.

Ready to play Lovehoney X ReFlex: Sex Edition with your mates and dates? It’s now available exclusively at FlexFactory (flexfactory.store).

Lovehoney

Written by Lovehoney. For collaborative posts between Lovehoney team members and guest authors
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Originally published on Mar 11, 2021. Updated on Mar 11, 2021
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