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How to Give a Sensual Massage
A sensual massage is a perfect way to connect physically and emotionally with someone. Let us guide you through some tips and advice for giving a sensual massage.
Who doesn’t love getting a massage? Or better yet, a sensual massage with a choose-your-own-happy-ending? An erotic massage, when given right, can be life-changing for some folk. Being gifted express permission to relax, receive, and not feel rushed is a pleasure we often deprive ourselves of, so when our partners show initiative by offering up their time and their hands, it can evolve into a truly profound experience.
Video: How to Give a Massage | Sensual Massage Tips
How to give an erotic massage
What feels good for one person, may not necessarily feel good for the next. But if you’re getting down and oily with your hands, there are a few simple yet universal elements to pop on your list of considerations.
Set the mood
This is the make or break of a sexy massage. Having your body touched in bright white lights, or on an uncomfortable surface can feel more like a medical examination than a sexy, relaxing exploration of sensuality. To keep things erotic, the ambience of the room is everything.
Start by making sure the room is the right temperature. Usually, that will be somewhere on the scale of warm to toasty. Your recipient will likely be naked or at the very least, dressed down, so it’s important that they aren’t reaching for a blanket or uncomfortably sweating.
Next up, lighting. Harsh lighting is a major no-go. Opt for something more relaxing but not pitch black. This could be a dimmed bulb, candles, a salt lamp, or even the bedside table light with a light sarong thrown over it.
Music should be down-tempo, and on a playlist that isn’t going to jump around genres. You probably don’t want complete silence, but you also don’t want to be fiddling with your phone while trying to get into your lover’s nooks and crannies.
Finally, no matter where this rub down is going on, it’s got to be on a comfortable surface. If it must happen on the floor, lay down some pillows or comfy blankets first. Remember, you’re settling in for the evening.
Keep close
The thing that separates an erotic massage from a general massage is (and, well, there are a few things to be fair, but this is one of them) that it up-levels the intimacy between the two people involved. The intention of each stroke is different to a normal massage, as is the end goal. When massaging your lover in an erotic context, try to keep your bodies as near as possible. Maintain physical contact throughout the entire interaction; feel free to lean in a little closer and utilise more than just your arms. If the receiver is on their front and it feels safe for them, you could sit on their bum. Or if the receiver is on their back, you could slide in between their legs to massage their chest and shoulders, working your way eventually down south.
Not only will this build warmth, but it will also keep you feeling connected and escalate the arousal.
The first touch
The first few strokes should be long, strong and purposeful. Firm contact will reassure your partner you are there (and you mean business) as well as begin to cultivate the tension.
Don’t go straight to the erogenous zones; keep your hands flat and your fingers relaxed. Work with the natural contours of your partner’s body and stick with the major areas first, like the back, neck, shoulders, and arms.
Check in (but don’t check out)
If your partnership or connection is new, it might even be worth asking “Where feels tight?”, “Where do you not like to be touched?”, “Where should I focus most of my attention?”. Be sure to ask about pressure, like you would any other kind of massage, but once should be enough to get the lay of your partner's land. A harsh truth? Too much talking will ruin the vibe.
Equally, drifting off and thinking about what you’re going to bring to lunch with your grandma will also be a huge buzz kill. Stay present, keep your eyes on your partner and hold them (and their pleasure) in your thoughts.
Throw some different moves
Once you feel confident exploring your partner’s body, throw some different moves into the mix. Try being light and use only your fingertips, then fill your entire hands with their bigger muscles (like the shoulders or the biceps). Soft touching will help you move fluidly from one area of the body to another; and pressing, cupping or kneading will help you release tension.
Don’t forget the head, the hair, the hands, the pads of the fingers (nerve ending central), the feet, the lips (if they are face up), the ears, the ribs, and the backs of the elbows and knees.
Getting intimate
If you’re hoping that your sensual massage will lead to something more intimate, then there are a few ways to be prepared.
Firstly, use a massage lotion that doubles as a personal lubricant and which is condom compatible. Regular oil doesn’t mix well with latex, but there is specially formulated massage lube that can do both and silicone-based lotion - have it at the ready.
Take your time working up to the sexy part - the point is that your partner receives a massage. But once you’ve hit all the tight spots and spent a respectful amount of time tending to their nervous system, start teasing. You can do this by moving your hands to their erogenous zones, like the nipples and inner thighs, and then by moving eventually to their genitals. This might include digital penetration, a hand job, clitoral stimulation, or oral sex. If the mood feels right, you can even gently suggest that your partner start touching themselves.
Mix it up
If your recipient is keen, don’t be shy to whip out the massage wand vibrator, prostate massagers, massage candles or any other sex toys you feel called to incorporate. The key to giving a killer erotic massage is to create an experience that is unique and multi-sensory.
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