How to Have Anal Sex

Remember: Conversations around anal sex and consent are super important. Are both you and your partner up for it? Do you have any reservations or concerns? Make sure you have these discussions to ensure you’re both on the same page.

It’s equally important to remember that pornographic depictions of anal sex should not be used as a model or a how-to manual. Pornography plays on fantasy rather than reality. You’ll rarely see porn stars applying lube beforehand or cleaning up afterwards, so don’t consider this an example.

Worried about trying anal for the first time? It might be helpful to consider anal training. This involves gradually stretching the anus using a set of anal dilators in various sizes. Start small and work your way up to a larger size.

If this feels scary, a finger or two can also work. Just make sure to apply those golden rules: clean whatever instrument you’re using both before and after, and apply lube throughout.

Want to treat yourself to an opulent experience? Invest in a sex throw.

Waterproof sex blankets protect your bedding from all those sexy fluids, giving you a plush, exciting pillow on which to play. Go on - you deserve it.

Preparation doesn’t diminish in its importance as time goes on, either. If you and your partner have had anal sex before, you still need to prepare. If you’ve discussed your boundaries or even finessed your favourite lube, then that has longevity, but you’ll need to prepare in the moment, too.

Cleanliness is absolutely integral when preparing for anal sex. Keeping the area squeaky clean is not only hygienic, but it’ll help to ward off any nasty bacteria that could develop an infection.

Treat this part as an opportunity to indulge in a little bit of self-care. Run yourself a relaxing bath, treat yourself to a few bubbles and ensure you thoroughly clean the area.

Just because you might feel comfortable with a partner, that doesn’t mean that cleanliness and lubrication - the two most important elements of anal sex prep - are no longer important. Always clean ahead and always, always lube up.

Sure, it’s not always sexy to plan your anal sex schedule down to a tee, so there’s room for an element of spontaneity with an established partner. If you suddenly feel in the mood and things begin to progress, dip away to the bathroom quickly and give yourself a wash. As long as you have lube on hand too, you’re good.

Whilst we’re on research: it might be useful to familiarize yourself with your anatomy. If you’re worried about anal for the very reason that it’s the same area that generates poop - don’t worry, that’s totally normal.

Remember that waste typically sits higher in the rectum, so you should be safe from any unexpected appearances. If you’ve had a bowel movement that day, you’re good to go. Stimulating the anus through penetration does involve many of the same muscles and nerve endings, but don’t worry if this triggers the feeling of needing to go. You’re safe.

Stretching of the sphincter and rectum is totally normal, because they’re both elastic. If you do experience any stretching, it won’t be permanent.

Make sure to check in with your partner - as well as yourself - to ensure that you’re both feeling comfortable and pleasured. If and when you’re ready, you can try moving to larger insertables such as a dildo or a penis.

The most important thing in these early stages is to take your time. Keep any thrusting slow and gentle whilst you’re acclimatising, and as you grow in confidence you can explore different rhythms - going harder or faster - as you discover what feels good both for you and your partner.

Remember: once you’re firmly in the anal game, you need to commit to that area. Don’t move back and forth from the anus to the mouth, vagina, hands or anywhere else without cleaning first. You don’t want to run the risk of spreading bacteria.

Relaxing your whole body is key too. Try massaging your lower back or caressing your soft spots before making your way to the anus. If your body is in it, your mind will be too.

Lube is always important, but it’s absolutely essential when having anal sex. Unlike the vagina or penis, the anus doesn’t sufficiently provide natural lubrication during sex. Adding lube not only has a relaxing effect, but it increases pleasure. It’s a win-win situation.

Just as you would clean before anal, you should clean after too. Each time you’ve finished having anal sex, ensure that you thoroughly clean your anus as well as whatever you’ve used for penetration.

Clean any toys thoroughly with soap and water or a specialist sex toy cleaner. Once dry, store them separately. For more hygiene tips, read our guide on How to Clean Sex Toys.

Lovehoney Fresh Biodegradable Sex Toy & Body Wipes can kill two birds with one stone and help you to freshen up both your body and your toys. But, if you’re wanting to enjoy some quality time with your partner, a steamy shower will also do the trick.

Make sure you get right between the cheeks and scrub away so that you’re squeaky clean.