Guide To Anal Sex for Beginners

Written by Lauren Payne, 20th December 2022

How to ease yourself into anal when you’re interested in trying a little back door action.

Doughnut innuendo 2

So you’ve decided to try anal sex for the first time. Anal sex can be extremely pleasurable for a lot of people, but taking the first steps can always feel a little bit daunting. Just like trying vaginal penetration for the first time, allowing someone to explore your back door when you haven’t done it before can be really nerve wracking. Luckily, we’re here to help!

If you’re wondering how to get ready for anal or how to do anal for the first time, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll find everything you need to know about how to have anal sex for the first time so you have the best experience possible...

1. Get familar


One of the first things we’d recommend doing before having anal sex with a partner is to give anal masturbation a go. Familiarising yourself with your own back door can make anal sex for beginners a lot less daunting. Why? Well if you already have a good idea about how to anally penetrate yourself, then when you’re ready to let a partner try out some butt stuff with you. You’ll already have a good idea about what you like, and what you don’t like, so you can confidently guide them around your curves and crevices.

2. Get Clean

53214 Tracey Cox Supersex Flexible Tip Anal Douche 250ml split

One of the first questions people usually ask when they’re learning how to do anal for the first time, is how to avoid any unwanted surprises. Honestly, anal sex is a lot less dirty than you might think. Sure, you are pleasuring the same place you poop from, but as long as you know how to clean before anal, everything will run smoothly.

The best way to prepare yourself for an anal sex session is to simply have a nice, warm shower. Clean yourself as you normally would, but of course pay special attention to what’s between your cheeks. If you’re still don’t feel clean enough for anal, then an anal douche might help put your mind at ease. An anal douche can help flush out your anal canal and make sure you’re feeling squeaky clean before you head into the bedroom.

To use an anal douche, lube the tip using a water-based anal lubricant and fill the bulb with lukewarm water by either removing the tip and running it directly under a tap or by squeezing the tip and then immersing it a container of water. Now this is where things will feel a bit strange if you’ve never used an anal douche before. Insert the nozzle into your anus, squeeze the bulb, and allow the water to be dispensed into your rectum. Hold the water for a while and then expel it when you feel ready.

3. Lube up


No matter what kind of sex you’re having, you must never forget to use lubricant. When it comes to anal, however, it’s even more important for you to lube up because, unlike the vagina, your anus can’t naturally lubricate itself. So before you let your partner insert a finger, a penis, a butt plug, or even an anal vibrator, make sure you apply lube to yourself, and whatever will be penetrating you.

Water-based lubricant is always a good choice, but if you’re not using a toy a silicone-based lubricant could also work well. We’d recommend using an anal lube, though, as they’re specifically designed to make anal sex as stimulating as possible.

4. Assume the position

Now that you’ve prepared for penetration, it’s time to get into it (literally!). When you’re having anal sex for the first time, it’s important not to try positions that are too advanced and to also take things slow.

If you’re not sure what positions to try out first, take a look at our list of beginner positions to see if any of them tickle your fancy.

Sexy Spoon


The Sexy Spoon is one of the best anal sex positions, not only because its super comfortable but because it’s also the perfect introduction to anal sex for beginners.

To do the Sexy Spoon, the receiver simply needs to lay on their side while the giver lays behind them and penetrates. This position is great for shallow penetration, and the intimate embrace will help keep things feeling extra romantic while you’re trying things out.

Butt and Grind


If you’re wanting to step things up a notch, another position you can try is the Butt and Grind. This position can be really easy for beginners to enjoy and requires very little effort on both the giver and receiver’s part.

To do the Butt and Grind, the receiver needs to position themselves so that they’re lying on their front, with their torso slightly raised and their legs spread apart. The giver will then straddle the receiver’s bum and penetrate away. Think of the Butt and Grind as the anal version of the Missionary position - super simple and super comfortable.

Mission Impossible

POTW-Mission Impossible

If whoever is receiving penetration doesn’t feel comfortable lying on their stomach for too long, another great position to try is the Mission Impossible. Don’t worry, just because this position has the word ‘impossible’ in its name doesn’t mean it’s actually difficult to do. In fact, the Mission Impossible is a great position for couples of differing heights and allows the receiver to externally pleasure the giver during sex.

To give it a go, the giving partner simply needs to stand behind the receiving partner and the receiving partner needs to lean on a chair (or a bench, anything you can lean on really) to raise their cheeks high and prepare for pleasure.

Once you know how to do anal sex in these easy positions, you can start experimenting with more advanced ones like Reverse Cowgirl and the Lusty Lean.

Reverse Cowgirl

POTW Reverse Cowgirl 1000x1000

Reverse Cowgirl is an extremely popular anal sex position. It allows the receiving partner to play with all of their other erogenous zones whilst being penetrated and provides the giving partner with full control over the depth and pace of your anal sex session.

To give Reverse Cowgirl a whirl, the penetrating partner needs to sit on a slightly reclining chair while the receiving partner straddles them backwards, shifting back towards them with their feet raised. Cowboy hats are optional and encouraged!

Lusty Lean

POTW-Lusty Lean

The Lusty Lean is a great position for any yoga lovers out there. It does require a bit of extra flexibility, but it also allows the giving partner to receive a bit of extra stimulation if penetration isn’t just turning them on quite enough.

If you’re hoping to try the Lusty Lean, the receiving partner will need to lay on their back with their legs in the air and pulled back towards their head. The top partner will then lay on top of them while facing their partner and prepare for penetration.

If you’re looking for more ideas for anal sex, check out our Position of the Week blog series to discover hundreds of other positions you and a partner can experiment with when you’ve become more comfortable in the world of butt stuff.

5. Clean up

After you’ve had the most mind-boggling orgasm, it’s time to clean yourself up. Make sure you thoroughly clean your back door entrance and anything that was used for penetration so they’re ready to go as soon as you’re feeling hot and heavy again.

Another warm shower can do the trick, but a pack of body wipes will also help you scrub up well, so your anus is feeling fresh and ready to take on the day.

If you used an anal toy, clean them as you normally would and use a sex toy cleaner if you have one handy. If you don’t, you can check out our range so you can make sure your favourite anal toys are always there for you when you’re in the mood.

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