Why Women Should Be Proud To Masturbate

Being in touch with our bodies, needs and desires is incredibly important for all sexual beings. But for those with female anatomies this is especially so. While we are undeniably making progress when it comes to accepting - even celebrating - the individually of human nature, there is still a way to go before we live in a world where shame, stigma, and prejudice (when it comes non-male sexuality) doesn’t exist. The good news is that we don’t need to take on the entirety of humanity’s biggest problems to each make our own little dent. We can start with ourselves and with being proud of who we are.

Here are a few reasons why women who masturbate should be proud and - dare we say it - loud!

Self-discovery is sexy

Our world is fast paced. Often, when we come into free time, we substitute slowing down and focusing on “being” with speeding up and getting more done. But there is a whole world of discoveries to be made when we take the time to be with our own bodies.

Masturbation can help uncover how we each like to feel pleasure. What kind of touch do we like? Where do we like it? How long do we like it for? What position do we like it in? Since masturbation is completely self-guided, there are no rights or wrongs, no limits, no judgement and no pressures to perform.

This opportunity to completely be with us is a powerful form of self-love. We learn little pieces to our own puzzle, which we can then take out into the world. This wisdom can help us communicate better not only in our sexual and romantic partnerships but also in our other intimate relationships. Maybe there is a certain way you like to be hugged? Or moments that you prefer to be left alone during. Self-pleasure is a prime example of why the phrase “To love others, you must first love yourself” isn’t just an optimistic platitude.

Masturbation is healthy for your head

Perhaps one of the most exciting things about masturbating (aside from, erm... the obvious) is that it’s super healthy for the brain. When you give yourself pleasure, in a safe environment, the brain releases hormones into your system that can help with mood, stress, sleep, stamina, pain management, socialising and immune response.

Knowing that you can tap into this at any time is true empowerment, so let us introduce to you a couple of the key chemical players in your body that respond when you self-pleasure:

• Dopamine: This chemical is often referred to as the “happiness hormone”. It relates to your brain’s reward system and makes you feel good. Having the right amount of dopamine is important for your body and your brain.

• Endorphins: These are the body’s naturally produced pain relievers and are created in the brain. They are often released during stress or when pain is being experienced to help the body and the brain cope. But they can be produced and boosted during pleasurable activities like exercising, eating, having sex, masturbating or getting a massage.

• Oxytocin: This hormone has been given the nickname 'the love hormone' and is responsible for social bonding. The best way to describe it is that warm, fuzzy feeling often associated with being in love or feeling deeply connected to someone. While, when you masturbate, you’re only bonding with yourself, oxytocin still can regulate your emotions, encourage pro-social behaviours (such as trust, empathy, eye contact and positive communication) as well as induce positive memories. The euphoria associated with oxytocin also contributes to relaxation and inhibits cortisol - the hormone that creates the sensation of stress. This is incredibly conducive to a good night’s sleep.

• Vasopressin: After a climax, vasopressin is released into the body. One of its many benefits is that it has a known antidiuretic effect and reduces the need to pee during the night. Bonus sleep! It also helps with stress and pain management.

• Testosterone: Testosterone is released during sex to help improve stamina and arousal, and during masturbation, when sexual fantasies are involved. For people with male reproductive systems (and for men who masturbate) it helps with bone mass, fat distribution, muscle mass and strength, and the production of red blood cells and sperm. For people with female reproductive systems, testosterone is important for growth, maintenance, and repair of a woman's reproductive tissues, and bone mass. Even though, traditionally, we think of testosterone as a dominant hormone for men, an imbalance of testosterone in the female body can diminish general health and sex drive.

• Prolactin: This hormone plays a particularly important role in female bodies when it comes to lactation, and influences positive mood, immune system and feelings of satisfaction.

Masturbation is safe

Masturbation is the safest form of sex, and being safe-sex positive is something to be proud of. When touching your own body there is no need to negotiate protection, have conversations about sexual health history, worry about awkward or challenging pre-sex social situations, be in fear of boundaries being disrespected, or stress about what might happen after a sexual interaction is complete.

This certainly isn’t to say that partnered sex should be avoided when masturbation is an option. However, the alternative of self-touch is a good one to consider when it comes to meeting our sexual needs.

Masturbation may make your period bearable

Having a period isn’t something to be afraid or embarrassed of. We can learn so much from our monthly bleeds. It’s a sign that your body is in working order or can act as a way for your body to communicate that something is up. It’s the shedding of what you no longer need and an important time to go inwards and reset. Being in touch with yourself during this tender time is incredibly important.

Having said that, one-on-one time during a bleed might feel a little different and require some extra attention to cleaning. We spoke above about how the hormones released during masturbation (and orgasm) can act as pain relief. If you happen to experience internal cramps, back pain, joint aches or mood swings during your period, then why not lean into your own naturally produced chemicals for assistance when it comes to managing menstrual discomfort.

With all of this is at your fingertips (quite literally), how could you not be proud of a consistent pleasure practice? If that isn’t enough of an incentive, the increased blood flow and circulation to your private areas may in fact heighten arousal, sensitivity and pleasure. It could be the perfect time to give yourself the best big O of the month.

Masturbation can be about more than getting off

It makes sense that females who masturbate usually have better relationships with their bodies and can more confidently articulate what they like in bed. But sensual self touch is about so much more than just sexuality. In fact, masturbation can be entirely ‘nonsexual’. There is a growing number of women who have used orgasms in lieu of drugs to manage their pain during child labour. Women have reported using clitoral stimulation in the resting periods between their contractions in places like the shower, bathtub or while in their birthing pool, and some have even gone as far as letting their partners get involved. While this mightn’t be the birth path for every person with a uterus, it certainly speaks to the benefits and empowerment that can be achieved by connecting with your body in its most primal moments.

In quieter moments, masturbation can still also be about more than just orgasms. In fact, when the need for an orgasm is taken off the table - whether it’s having one or giving one - touch can feel entirely different. Self-pleasure is a great way to explore this and there are plenty of tools that can assist you by steering the focus away from your genitals, such as self massagers and feather ticklers.

Pride equals more pride

If you’ve ever wondered how many women masturbate, then the answer is somewhere in the realm of 81%. And that’s a high number for something we don't talk about nearly enough.

Being proud to masturbate also gives other women who masturbate (and people with female bodies who masturbate) permission to be proud of what they get up to behind closed doors. Talking about this very common, very normal, and very healthy behaviour clears the pathway to talk more broadly about sex and to help each other navigate what it is to have innate intimacy needs.

Mums who masturbate, and who are proud, can teach their children about the benefits of masturbation. This includes how to develop a healthy relationship to your own body, how to understand the difference between what you like and what someone else likes, and what it feels like to be in a state of self-love rather than self-shame. Masturbation is a great tool for someone who has never had sex before to start familiarising themselves with what the sensation of partnered sex might (and should) be. If that person has role models who are honest and forthcoming about their own sexual experiences - parents or otherwise - then, sure, it could mean a few less mistakes; but more significantly, when mistakes or hiccups do inevitably happen, that person has a safe relationship to confide in. For young girls who masturbate, this could be life changing; and for young girls who grow into girls who love to masturbate, this sets a healthy precedence for them connecting to their bodies throughout their lives as it ebbs and flows and changes.

The antidote to shame is sharing, and when we all do a little more of this we all carry a little less on our shoulders. Masturbation is something to be proud of and curious about because, just like food, sleep, water and shelter, it’s completely natural way to satisfy a completely natural urge. And we now know it does so much more than that too.